


I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

by SinisterMind



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5SOS - Freeform, Depressed!Michael, M/M, Muke - Freeform, Suicide, Tattoo, calum and ashton aren't mentioned THAT much, im sorry, im sorry i cried, it's sad, soulmates!Muke, soulmates!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 19:10:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4533792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinisterMind/pseuds/SinisterMind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulmate AU where you have your soulmates last words to you tattooed on your body.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

It started like this. 

 

When you reach the age 14, the last words that your soulmate ever says to you appears on your body. 

Some people go there entire lives without knowing their soulmate, settle on someone else.

For instance, Luke’s friend’s parents weren’t soulmates but they were happy together.

Luke only knew they weren’t soulmates because said friend’s father had passes away and his last words didn’t match up with what was printed on the mother. 

And Luke was having a lot of trouble believing who was his soulmate. He had the most generic word printed on his forearm and he hears this word every day of his life. 

It scares him. Not knowing that a person he’s with is his soulmate or not until their final words. 

 

It scares him even more when he starts to get feelings for Michael, his best friend. It’s hard liking someone who probably doesn’t like you back. 

He knows there is a small chance with Michael being openly bisexual since the age of 15 but just because he swings both ways doesn’t mean he’s automatically attracted to Luke.

Everyone knows about Michael’s sexuality. 

He never cared to keep it a secret when their band made it big. 

It was such a small part of him that it wasn’t a big deal.

 

Luke is very observant. 

It doesn’t look like it but he always knows what’s going on around him. 

Being a shy kid growing up, he’s learnt to not voice his thoughts and opinions but observes everything around him. 

In the non-creepiest way possible, his favourite thing to do is observe Michael. 

He often wonders what goes on in his friends mind. 

Michael is very loud despite being as introverted as they get and it confuses a lot of people. 

It didn’t take very long into their first small tour around Australia to realise that Michael had anxiety, social anxiety specifically. 

And when Luke asked him about it, he seemed embarrassed and fiddled with the bracelets lining his wrists. 

 

And to this day on their own world tour, Luke would watch Michael get ready before leaving the tour bus or a hotel room. 

Like he was giving himself a pep talk in his head. 

And in interviews he could tell that behind the loud voice and smiles that he was uncomfortable in this situation, how his muscles were tensed and he would shake a little before answering a question. 

And Luke would always be there for him. Every single time they get back to wherever they’re sleeping that night, Luke would be right next to him. 

They never really talked about Michael’s social anxiety anymore, unless it was bad. Like panic attack bad. 

After a particularly bad panic attack that landed him in hospital, he was given medication with strict instructions to take one every morning. 

Luke knew Michael skipped days.

He never mentioned it though. 

 

He often wondered what Michael’s soulmate tattoo said. 

He’s never seen it and Michael never spoke about it. 

Ashton and Calum were the ones who would constantly talk about it, they want to know who their soulmate is but obviously they won’t until their final words. 

Luke has shown his to the others.

Everyone has seen Luke’s, it’s in an obvious place. 

Ashton’s is also pretty obvious and Calum’s is on his collarbone.

Sometimes Luke wonders if Michael even has one, he’s heard of people whose words don’t appear.

It’s very rare though. 

 

Luke really likes Michael.

Likes how he dyes his hair bright colours – even though now it’s dark as night with a few coloured streaks in the fringe.

Likes that he has weird obsessions with video games and Japanese culture. 

Likes that he’s not ashamed of being bisexual. 

He likes everything about Michael but the thing is Michael doesn’t seem to like much about himself. 

Fans know that Michael is self-conscious, that he gets a lot of hate for his hair and weight.

Michael knows that they know but he doesn’t say anything about it. 

 

They’re nearing the end of their world tour and everything is happening so quickly.

It started slow and gradually got faster and faster and no one knows what to do anymore. 

The first thing Luke notices is that Michael hasn’t touched his medication. Luke knew it was empty and that Michael should be going to the chemist to get it refilled but he hasn’t. 

Luke does it for him and only the next day did he hear the flush of a toilet and see an empty container. Neither Luke nor Michael said anything about it. 

 

The second thing Luke notices is that his long sleeves have made a comeback.

He remembers back in high school, even before they were friends that Michael always wore the school jumper even on hot days. 

He remembers that time where Michael was out of school for about a week and when he came back, they started to become friends. 

He never found out what happened to Michael but he has a suspicion he really hopes won’t be correct. 

 

The third thing Luke notices is that he never goes out anymore unless they had a show that night.

And even then he wouldn’t he wouldn’t give it his all and by this time, a lot of people were noticing. 

It’s not like Michael didn’t enjoy what he did, he really fucking loved what he did but he was so tired.

 

The fourth thing Luke noticed was to do with Michael’s medication. 

How it was full and he knew Michael refilled it. 

It never got any emptier as the days went on, always stayed the same, lying in the same corner of his suitcase. 

 

And then it happened. 

 

He was out with Ashton and Calum and he had this really unsettled feeling in his chest. 

He told Calum that he needed a breather and stepped outside the club to call Michael, just in case. 

Michael didn’t pick up right away, he answered eventually. 

He sounded dazed when he answered. 

 

“Are you okay?”

 

And Michael didn’t reply for what seemed like years but must have only been 30 seconds. 

 

“No”

 

And that was all it took for Luke to hail a taxi and rush back to where they were staying. 

As soon as the taxi stopped, Luke through a wad of notes onto the front seat, way more than what the price was, and ran to their room.

The lift was taking too long so he opted for the stairs, he tripped a few times as he ran as fast as he could because he knew something bad was happening.   
He was right. 

 

Luke burst into Michael’s hotel room and frantically looked around for his best friend. 

He took a step towards the bathroom and heard a splash.

He looked down at his feet, where a growing puddle of water was forming around his feet. 

His eyes followed the water and noticed how it was coming from the bathroom. 

 

Fuck.

 

What Luke experienced that night will haunt him forever. 

Seeing your best friend bleeding from an overflowing bathtub isn’t a sight you ever want to see. 

He remembers what he did though, it was like he was on autopilot, unable to process what was actually happening. 

 

As fast as he could, he turned the taps off and pulled out the plug. 

He gently slid his hand under Michael’s jean clad knees and another arm behind his neck so he could support him as he lifted him out of the bath and onto the tiled floor. 

Luke watched as Michael’s head just sort of fell in a way that made him look, well, dead and how fast he scrambled to get towels so he could try and stop the bleeding. 

He sniffed as he searched for a pulse, breath hitching when he couldn’t find one. 

 

Luke was numb. 

He still had a tight grip on Michael’s hand and wouldn’t let go. 

Michael’s white Sum 41 shirt was now transparent and he could clearly see words written across his stomach. 

Michael’s soulmate’s last words. 

Luke gently peeled back the material so he could have a clearer view of what his tattoo said.

Luke burst into tears when he read it.

 

He looked down at his arm, rolling the sleeves of his jacket up to see the one word he heard every single day. ‘No’

 

Across Michael’s stomach were the words ‘Are you okay?’


End file.
